1 Samuel 1:27- I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.
Birth is a dynamic, intricate, intimate, moving and flowing experience. It is much like a dance because of the rhythmic motion and the requirement that partners work together with perfect timing and intricate steps. And it requires one partner lead and the other follow. When describing to Abigail, almost 3, how baby brother would come out into this world I told her that Mommy and baby brother would dance together to get him out. And that is what we did. We had a calm, beautiful, peaceful dance. I followed Noah Calvin and my body’s lead. Due to many factors such as my natural desire to be in control, my pride, my perfectionism tendencies, my lack of trust in the Creator’s amazing creation and many other things, it took practice and preparation of the mind and spirit in addition to the body.
“I don’t feel a bit anxious about going into labor. I can’t wait to see how this experience is going to unfold. It’s like the moment already exists and I am just going to participate in it.” -Author Unknown
The quote describes how I approached this birth. It was a personal journey to come to the decision to have a home birth and I am so happy we did. It was a calm, peaceful, joyous and dare I say easy birth. I had more knowledge and insight into birth, my body and our baby. I learned how to train my mind to relax my body. I trusted that my body and baby knew exactly what to do and I just needed to allow it to do so. In a way I had to get out of the way so my body could birth. To get out of the way I used Hypnobirthing, relaxation, positive mind affirmations and thoughts, massage and touch, an encouraging birth support team, the comfortable setting of our home, a tub of water and the most wonderful, supportive, loving husband as my birth partner. And thank you to all those who were praying and sending positive thought our way. We had mama friends praying early in the afternoon and Park Lake PLOW friends praying while I was in the tub.
Here is how Noah Calvin’s story unfolds (with details of labor included):
God had this planned. As we tried to conceive starting in October 2010 we were almost to the point of stopping. But God’s timing is perfect and we conceived in early September 2011. I had 8 sessions of acupuncture in July-September and that seemed to help get my body back in gear and ready for pregnancy. We found out in January 2012 it was to be a son. What a blessing to be granted one of each gender. We were thrilled. The pregnancy journey was certainly different this time due to the circumstances. It was not easy as I was pretty sick in the beginning, I was transitioning Abigail from breastfeeding and the normal aches and exhaustion. But with my wonderful husband Jeff we made it and made it mostly staying positive.
We are very happy with the midwife choice and care we received. Kaleen Richards, CNM, of Tree of Life Birth & Gynecology was wonderful to work with. It was a more in charge and empowering experience for me than being with an Ob/Gyn. And as it turns out, our doula with Abigail, Rhonda Huggins, worked in Kaleen's office. Hmm- small world and God’s plan unfolding. We were where we were supposed to be!
Somewhere around 32 weeks we think Noah Calvin settled into the head down position. When I was first internally checked at 37 weeks I was already dilated 2-3 cm but not much effaced. We proceeded with life and care for mom & baby boy. We did not check dilation every week but just let my body do what it needed. I trusted Noah and my body to do what it needed and they would know when to start.
At the 39 weeks check things were about the same with a little progress to 3-4 cm. At 40 weeks and 3 days at our 5 pm appointment we discussed moving things along and encouraging naturally. Midwife gently swept membranes and said his head was fully engaged in my pelvis at zero station and head down and more effaced! He was in position and she anticipated labor starting in next 24 hours or so. Indeed, that evening I began to feel tightness and perceived some surges. But they were very periodic and not at all uncomfortable. The surges seemed to be about 20/30 min apart on and off throughout the evening. We were able to get a decent night sleep. Jeff stayed home from work. I thought I might have lost mucous plug the next morning and began to have a little bit of bloody show.
Wednesday morning I called Kaleen around 7 am to alert her things were happening. We’d touch base again when surges got more regular and closer together at about 7-10 minutes apart. Jeff & I stayed active and got lots of last minute prep and cleaning done in house. We really started timing surges around 11 am and surges were pretty consistent and about every 7 minutes and lasting about 60-70 seconds. I could still walk, talk & carry on as normal. The surges just felt like tightening. We called Kaleen around 1 pm to let her know. Since the surges were staying around 7 minutes she suggested I take a hot shower for 20 minutes to see what happens and call her back. I did so and felt dizzy & lightheaded afterwards and the shower actually seemed to stall or stop surges for a while. I rested and cooled off and things picked back up around 3:15pm. Kaleen was in Winter Park at another birth and could come by to check after she was done. Suggested stair walks & lunges. I was thinking at this point that this was too easy and maybe I was not really in labor- could this be the Braxton Hicks or practice labor? Jeff kept saying you’re just that relaxed!
Kaleen arrived around 4 pm. I had progressed to about 6 cm and 80-90% effaced. So I was in active labor- huh? Kaleen gave me some homeopathics to help things along and I took a walk with Kathy & Abigail for about 30 minutes. Took homeopathics again at 4:15 and 4:30 at home for the last dose. I hung out at home for a while talking & sitting on ball. Things started to pick up a bit and surges were more intense. I decided I wanted to walk again this time with Jeff. Around 5 pm while Kaleen filled the tub we went outside. We got across the street and I had the first surge outside. I had to stop & lean & realized I did not want to go far or even be standing. So we walked to side/back of house & watered garden. We walked there a bit but surges were coming close together (2-4 minutes) and getting much stronger. I knew at this point that I wanted to be inside & in the tub! We took a quick rinse off shower because I was so hot & sweaty. Mom stopped by in between surges with the shirts for our birth team. I seemed fine to her she said later. And I was fine.
Somewhere around 5:45 or so I got in the tub. It felt great! Photographer Erin Miller arrived soon after. Kathy & Abigail came back with Chick- Fil-A Dinner for everyone and I was already in the tub. Jeff fed me part of a chicken sandwich and some yummy yogurt parfait with strawberries & made sure I drank water. He sat on ottoman next to me and I mostly remained on knees leaning forward. It was the most comfortable and Jeff could whisper in my ear & hold my hands & stroke my arms and even press on my back during surges early on because that pressure felt really good then.
Kaleen called birth assistant Theresa to help out. Unfortunately, Maggie Mccarthy & Rhonda Huggins were both unavailable. I am thankful to have had Theresa helping out (and I'm sure Kaleen was too). This was Kaleen's 3rd birth of 4 in a 24 hour period. Midwives are awesome and dedicated!!!!!
There were some neat moments with Abigail while she sat and ate dinner looking at me in the tub. I had to tell her there will be moments when mommy can’t respond to her but if you just wait I will. She was curious about the tub but remembered me telling her that baby brother would be born in the tub. Surprisingly she did not ask to get in with me. It was wonderful to hold onto Jeff and look at Abigail and Kathy eating at the table during surges. Abigail would come kiss me or reach out her hand to hold while we ate.
At some point Abigail & Kathy went upstairs. It was getting more intense and very rhythmic. I remembered the bell curve & could really recognize the peaks. I tried to stay ahead of the surges with my breathes. It is so amazing that you can tell when they’re coming and prepare yourself.
Kaleen asked me to turn over & we’ll check progress. She said about 9.5 cm and ready to push if I wanted to I could try. I stayed on the bench and tried a pushing surge on my back. I’m not sure I was really quite ready to push. The back position did not feel productive or as comfortable- I could not get enough “umph”. So I went back to lean forward on the side of the tub & then I was ready to push & we were off. I don’t know how many surges but out came the bag of waters and 3 minutes later he was born underneath me in the water at 7:50 pm. It was intense and I was vocal. I felt I lost my cool but Jeff said I was loud but calm. I know I started to scream a couple of times and Kaleen reminded me to vocalize low tones and I caught myself too and changed from scream to low vocalizations. It helped lots to do so! I let my body tell me when to push and it did each time! Evidently pushing was only 10 minutes and he was almost born “en caul”.
My first statement after he flew out underneath me was “where did he go?”. It was really quite a comical statement given that he’s not going to get lost in the tub, Kaleen was right there to catch him and he was still attached to me! He had a pretty short cord so maneuvering and keeping him out of the water was interesting/challenging.
But then the moment we’d all been waiting for- I held our son in my arms. He was calm, quiet & perfect! We stroked & admired him while he lay on me and the cord was still pulsing. Kaleen & Theresa commented on how pink and good his color was. Jeff got to cut the cord with Kaleen’s help. I delivered the placenta shortly after. It was then dad’s turn to hold his son while I got out of the tub & into our own bed.
What a gift & a blessing. The birth dance was complete! Noah Calvin danced into our arms and our lives forever. Abigail got to come in & meet him & our journey as a family of four had begun! Stats are he was 8 pounds, 12 ounces and 20.5 inches long and head diameter of 13.75 and chest of 14.5.
Kathy recorded some neat statements that Abigail made as she heard me birthing and then heard baby brother. Kathy reminded her that I was dancing with baby brother and that seemed to satisfy her as to what was going on! Very matter of fact-ly she said "that is mommy" when she heard me vocalizing. And when she heard baby brother cry for the first time, said "Noah's out" and smiled and mimicked his crying. After a few moments and listening to Noah she said "He's happy to be out with the family". And continued "he's out I hear him, I want to go see baby brother, daddy go see baby brother."
Notes about the name Noah Calvin
In the womb we called him baby brother, Noah, Calvin, Buddy, little dude. The first name, Noah, means peaceful, rest. So appropriate for the way he entered the world. I had a rainbow picture up with affirmations on the wall and used rainbow relaxation visualization scripts that Hypnobirthing provides to practice relaxing. How appropriate that God’s promise to Noah in the Bible included a rainbow and water too! The most significant story behind his name involves his sister Abigail. Before we knew the gender, she told me his name was Noah. I thought she was talking about her dolls. But she told me no and pointed to my belly and said baby’s name Noah. From then on, everyone that asked me if we had a name, she told Noah before I could respond. There’s some special connection between Abigail & Noah. And she included him in our “whole family” from then on.
Dad chose the middle name Calvin partly because of John Calvin and Calvin & Hobbes. You may very well hear him call him Calvin too.
It all came together for the perfect name for this peaceful, calm boy. So far his temperament fits his name! I think he’s our “go with the flow” child.
Notes about Daddy Jeff- the best, most awesome pregnancy & labor partner
I love this man so much...for so many reasons. And the true partner he was during pregnancy and labor and postpartum makes me love him even more. When I was sick, he was there taking over. When I needed to cry or talk about my fears, he was there. When I needed to prepare, he went to Hypnobirthing classes for 4 weeks and learned & took it seriously. When I needed him to help keep me busy during early active labor, he was there. When I needed him to stroke my back and put pressure during a surge, he was there. When I needed him to hold my hands, he was there. When I did not know what I needed, he whispered sweet nothings and somethings into my ear, he encouraged me, he reminded me of our son and that he was coming soon. He held me almost the entire time during labor & birthing. That was his labor of love for me & his son! I am forever grateful to him for supporting, encouraging and helping me have my desired natural, home birth. What blessed children Noah and Abigail are to have a Daddy like him!
It is common to all woman of any race, religion, eco-social status, etc. God designed our bodies to give birth without fighting our bodies but allowing birth to unfold naturally (for those women without risk or complications). This is what birth can look like when allowed to unfold naturally.
Birth is also personal and intimate. In these images you will see lots of skin, especially my belly with baby in utero and you will see my bare back (including my buttocks). We removed some additional shots so as to not offend and keep the sacred sanctity of marriage and the woman's body. I hope you will see these images for what they are; a beautiful and natural act of love; and not offensive.
Here is a link to the photos taken by professional photographer, Erin Miller. It is lengthy- there are 244 photos and the slideshow takes about 15 minutes to watch on fast speed. You can also pick and chose ones to view from the gallery.
http://erinmiller.smugmug.com/
